Resignation to Marriage

While walking down the aisle
my rose petal dreams
withered and
fell from my bouquet

On the broken alter
I put down my veil,
kissed a grey face
And vowed,

I will build my life
on the ruins of desire

Marriage (to Myself)

A long flowing gown,
a bouquet in hand
a crown of thorns
I walk down the aisle
in the ruins
of St Augustine's church
(In remembrance of a dream dreamt in
Goa)

Childhood

I gave up,
my childhood, and all that remains of it
In search of long grey pathways
of a successful life
(True to my
spirit- with love - N)

Self realisation

When I was with him,
Last night,
Self realisation dawned on me
Wrapped,
In a tight embrace,
I realised
I am what He is not
I slept,
A dry sleep

Roads, Rain and Mind

Rain made vague sketches of trees on the wet road.
I travelled past certainties of
a loveless life
To the unsecured disturbances of a love life.
I prefer it this way.
At least it rains, here
in one side
of the mind-
in a corner
where I hide the shame, the pride and
longing of your touch.

His favourite song

He held tight my hand
as we strolled through woods
on long misty nights
yet,
he played her his favourite song

He kissed all night
my naval so tight
yet,
he played her his favourite song

He rained on my mind
on words and
bed
yet,
He played her his favourite song

I felt so tired
of mist
of kisses
and even of tears
and longed for his favorite song

smoke

my finger nails are tobacco stained
excessive smoking

I tired painting them
with nail polish
it only stained them more

A nail has fallen off
signs of decay and death

yet it was stained
reminding me of the sunny days
out side pine smelling cinema halls

where i smoked for hours
with you

last night i turned to my lover's side
and checked his nails
fair lean fingers
nails - pale

I stopped loving him from then
And painted my nails
more
red, blue, white